As for the NFL season I, like most everyone else, have no idea what to make of it.  Cedric Benson is leading the league in rushing.  The Orton-led Broncos are 5-0.  Brett Favre has won over fans and teammates in Minnesota and suddenly loves playing in domes.  Frankly, the whole league is going to hell in a handbasket.  The biggest change I have noticed is that the balance of power seems to be shifting ever so slightly back from the AFC to the NFC.  I don’t know that it’s getting a lot of attention, but the Giants, Vikings, Saints, Eagles, and even Bears are all legit contenders.  The Patriots look old and Brady doesn’t look fully healed.  The Ravens have been up and down, the Jets have a rookie QB and head coach, and I’m still not sold on the Broncos or Bengals.  Of the old guard only the Colts seem to have not fallen off, and given their lack of consistent deep playoff runs they seem anything but a lock.  Even trying to cobble together an NFC playoff bracket at this point leaves a few notable contenders on the bubble.  If the Giants, Vikings, Saints, and (insert random crappy NFC West Team Here) are all primed at this point to get in as division champs that still leaves Philly, Overrated Dallas, Chicago, Green Bay, Atlanta, and last year’s NFC Champ Arizona vying for two Wild Card slots.  Trying to navigate that minefield seems a lot more difficult than the IGAS projected AFC Div. Champs (Indy, Denver, Crappy AFC East Team, Cincy) and Pittsburgh, Dallas West (er, I mean San Diego), and Baltimore, right?  Doesn’t Indy roll over any of those teams indoor at the Luke?  I hate Indy, but I don’t see how it’s not a cakewalk for them in the AFC this year.

As for the personal interests of IGAS, I chose not to put the Dolphins in the playoff considerations because they are under .500.  Sorry guys, but you’re not ready to be discussed unless you’re there.  They have looked good the last 3 weeks though, which included two nice division wins but looking at their upcoming schedule I don’t see how they finish any better than 9-7.  I felt like that was probably the ceiling coming into this season and to be honest 8-8 seems like a more realistic expectation at this point.  There is no shortage of good news in Miami, however.  Chad Henne seems to be competent running the offense, which was a question that needed to be answered so a long-term plan for QB could be made.  The Wildcat is as strong as ever and shows no sign of being de-railed no matter how much footage opponents have or what style of defense it faces.  In year two Coach Sparano seems to be just as intense and organized as anyone in the league and the team consistently plays tough, hard, and gritty.

Meanwhile, the state of Missouri is 0-for-the-season.  When coupled with the Royals Royals-ness and the Cards early playoff exit, I’m surprised that Brad is still following sports at all.  Maybe you can aquire an NBA team (I hear they’re all for sale now anyways), station them in Branson (old people capital of the planet),  and the star of said team (I’m thining someone like Zach Randolph or a revived Stephon Marbury) can go on a rampage that results in the distruction of Albert Pujols’ ACLs and the Anhuiser-Busch Brewery. Keep your chin up, sir, and don’t order Sunday Ticket unless you have a high tolerance for pain.

Now to the Draft Re-cap Re-cap:

Stafford – Inconsistent, but actually won them a ballgame.  He is not the goofy version of Ryan Leaf that I hoped he would be, but he is definitely better than Gosder Cherilius, as I thought he would be.

Smith – Waaaaaay too early to tell.  Seems to be doing OK though.  Hell, I honestly have no idea.  Who watches the Rams anyways?

Jackson – Again, he plays for the Chiefs so it’s anyone’s guess.  Wasn’t crazy about this pick and he hasn’t done anything to change my mind yet.Hasselbeck

Curry-  I said Sanchez made sense b/c Hasselbeck would be on his butt in Week 4.  Check, and check.  Curry hasn’t been bad, but he certainly hasn’t set the world on fire, either.

Sanchize – Good.  Very good.  I hate that he’s a Jet.  Very, very good.

Smith – Everything I had hoped for from a comedy standpoint.  He actually fatctured his foot…er, wait…that’s fractured.  Anyways, this is another one I nailed.

Heyward-Bey – No one saw this coming…surprisingly he and JaMarcus are having a hard time getting together.  Odd.

Monroe – Eh, again, offensive linemen are tough to judge early…but I like the kid and Jax has had success running the ball, which is how I usually measure the OL.

Raji – Moving from DT to DE has been tough on him, probably because that’s a horrific idea.  Also, he sprained his ankle.  Hey, these are the excuses Green Bay is making for him kids…

Crabtree – Again, stellar.  He’d better be damn good because that holdout was the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen, and believe you me I’ve seen some dumb things.

Hope all enjoyed the Top 10 recap and the NFL 1/3 blah blah Report.  GO PHISH!

The Royals payroll was 70 million this year which blew me away.  Looking at that roster who in the crap is getting that much money.  Gil Meche makes 11, Coco Crisp makes 6.5, and Jose Guillen makes 12.   I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.  Maybe next year we’ll sign Count Chocula  for 10 million.  The only bright spot is Zack Greinke.   Like I said to start the season he should win the AL Cy Young Award.

The only other really candidates are CC Sabathia, King Felix, and possibly Verlander.  CC had the best run support in the league, has a higher ERA and lower strikeout total.  Same goes for King Felix plus he only has only more win.  Because Greinke plays on such a bad team and only had 15 wins he probably won’t win.

The worst part of this year is that I know in a couple years, Greinke will be playing in either Boston or  New York.  And the Royal will be stuck paying washed up guys 10 million a year.   I’m so ready for football.  At least the Chiefs and Dolphins are off to good starts…

But IGAS, you ask, what about Pete Rose being in the Hall of Fame?  I say he is in the Hall of Fame.  He is acknowledged by the HOF as being the all-time Hit King.  There are places in the museum where you can find his pictures, bats, gloves, etc.  He and his sideshow tent a block away from the ceremony every year is as big a part of that week as anything else.  He’s constantly there signing autographs and everyone who goes to Cooperstown inevitably has a discussion about him.  I would submit he is as discussed there every year as any of the inductees, so I have a hard time feeling like he isn’t a part of the Hall of Fame.

Does Rose even want to be in the Hall of Fame?  People tend to think that this is all about inclusion in the HOF but I think it’s all about $.  If he were put in the Hall he’d be a lot less interesting to those people who float past his tent.  Would we want a Hall of Famer in a tent signing autographs every year?  What a joke.  If he were in he couldn’t write books about how he’s not in.  I don’t even think the HOF is secondary to this guy, I think he still wants to put on a uniform and coach.  Sadly, with the sentiment that is out there I think someone might hire him at a minor league level.  Imagine that, from banned for life to collecting a paycheck from a major league team without any contrition at all.

Most importantly, whatever the decision is it needs to come quick and be final.  If Selig isn’t going to reinstate him he needs to say so and be firm about it.  He only has a few more years as commissioner, but it would be nice if this discussion went away.  If he’s going to let him in he needs to do it and stand accountable for it.  Either way, it’s time that this whole thing be put to bed, so count me amongst those who would be voting no for Pete Rose.

1.  Tony La Russa – Cardinals – Make no mistake about it, I hate this guy.  However, I don’t think that anyone else does it better.  The Cardinals are constantly better than they should be on paper.  For example last season they were above .500 without having Chris Carpenter for the entire season.  They had nothing in the way of a pitching staff.  Their bullpen was in shambles.  Didn’t matter.  La Russa can play small ball or long ball.  He adjusts to the strengths and weaknesses of his players and yet his teams consistently play hard and smart.  He’s been good in the AL and the NL.  Although I hate him and think he’s a drunken fool, he’s the best in the game.

2.  Mike Scoscia – Angels – I loved him as a player and when he was named manager of the Angels they were not very good.  He turned them around quickly (with the help of Arte Moreno’s money) but he reminds me a lot of La Russa in that he seems to be willing to play the game any way necessary.  He’s willing to let Kendrick and Figgins run wild on the bases.  He manages his pitchers well.  The Angels play in a division with high spenders (the Mariners) and consistent contenders (the A’s) and Scoscia has always had them playing competitive baseball.  The willingness to play aggressive and squeeze (especially in the AL) impresses me as well.

3.  Joe Torre – Dodgers – He was brilliant in New York and now in LA.  The only knock I have on Torre is that he hasn’t been great at elevating the level of subpar teams.  Before he was in those two places he was with the Mets and the Cardinals and wasn’t a consistent winner.  The fact that he has been fired by 3 teams is a strike against him too.  However, you cannot argue with the World Series rings (4) or the pennants he won with the Yanks.  Also the way in which he manages the egos of his players is impressive.  From A-Rod to Jeter to Manny he’s dealt with some of the games biggest names and always gotten massive production from them with few public hangups.  His managerial style mostly consists of throwing the players out there and letting them play, which is a great strategy when you have a strong club.

4.  Bobby Cox – Braves – Cox has been good for a very long time.  He has been in one place forever and he is largely responsible for developing a lot of the talent that has made the Braves a productive team for the past 20+ seasons.  The only real knock on Cox or that Braves dynasty is that while they were as dominant as they were for many years they only managed to win one World Series title.  It’s hard to remember now but when Cox took over the Braves they were not a good baseball team.  Anyone who presides over that sort of turnaround and prolonged success gets big props from IGAS.

5.  Jim Leyland – Tigers – I wasn’t a huge Leyland fan when he was in Pittsburgh and I thought that his Florida teams were a product of gigantic spending and not brilliant managing,  However, it’s hard to argue with the fact that he’s been a very consistent winner and has taken teams from the AL and NL to the World Series.  I was very impressed in his first year in Detroit when he reamed his players after only a few weeks on the job because he felt like they expected to lose.  Leyland wasn’t just there to collect a paycheck and he was pissed that he felt like his players were.  In short order they were in the World Series.

Obviously there are a lot of guys 6-10 who I think are awesome.  Ron Gardenhire, Ozzie Guillen, and Sweet Lou are all awesome.  Of course, if they (or you) feel like they’re top 5 material let them get their own blog.

My opinion on Michael Vick is that he is an idiot.  Senseless abuse of animals is not cool and there is no excuse for it.  BUT he is getting JOBBED.  PETA and all the other animal fanatics are trying to make an example of Vick and use this as their soap box.  Most of what they do is crazy and this is the one way people will listen.  Should Vick pay for what he did? Definitely!  Losing his $100 million contract and going to jail seems like a pretty steep price.

Let me tell you the story of another guy.   This guy attended a birthday party in 1998 and had  few drinks.  He decided to drive home.  On the drive home he hit and killed a woman.  His BAC was 0.19.   He was convicted of manslaughter served 90 days in jail, 4 years of probation, and did 1000 hrs of community service.  Who was this person??? Leonard Little, DE for the St Louis Rams.  He missed the last half of the 1998 season and the first half of the 1999 season.  Where was the outrage there?  HUMAN LIFE gone.  Are you kidding me?  When did taking a human life equate to 90 days in jail and taking the lives of dogs equate to 23 months in jail.  This is what happens when people start listening to hippies.

Honestly, I hope Vick does come back to NFL and I hope he succeeds.  This would be a great story of redemption for a screwed up life that got back on track.  I have a great idea for which team should give him a chance.

He and Pat White would be fun to watch play with one another.  One can only dream about seeing him play in Miami.

…I wanted to take a little time here to post about the incident Wednesday night involving Detroit Tiger’s outfielder Magglio Ordonez and umpire Paul Schrieber in Minnesota.  Much has been made of this on the morning shows as well as ESPN.  The letter of the law states that umpires should not initiate contact with players and by that standard it is obvious that Schrieber was in the wrong and there are varying opinions as to what, if any, punishment is necessary for Schrieber.  What about kudos for Ordonez?  If Schriber had touched Cubs fugitive outfielder Milton Bradley I doubt that Milty would have reacted by stepping away and asking why the umpire had touched him, as Ordonez did.  He probably would have started swinging or at the very least gone into a rant that would have made The Ultimate Warrior look like a sane man.  What should Schrieber’s punishment be?  Since Ordonez handled the situation so smoothly it did not escalate I say we punish Schrieber and reward Ordonez at the same time:  A $5,000 donation to the charity of Magglio’s choosing should suffice…

…While reading Brad’s piece on Manny I was elated that he showed a picture of the Manny cutoff play.  It is without a doubt my favorite play in the history of the game.  Brad found a nice picture of it.  I looked, as I have many times in the past, for a video clip of it to post here.  Why couldn’t I find it?  MLB has removed all content from YouTube.  This was done a while ago, but it is still insane.  The only place to find archived footage of Major League games is on the mlb.com website, which I refuse to link you to.  Technically it is MLB’s footage and they can do with it what they want, but every other sport has figured out that having unfettered on-demand video clips of their game is ultimately good for them.  It’s not even as if MLB would lose money.  They charge nothing for their video service, which I have been unable to open using my computer.  People talk about Bud Selig messing up the steroids thing and the All-Star game, but can we give him some credit for this too?  God forbid the fans have unlimited access to the game…

…If you ever have the chance to listen to Vin Scully call a baseball game, either on the radio or television, don’t miss it.  Harry Caray, Harry Kalas, Ernie Harwell, and Jack Buck are all gone, but you can still catch Scully doing a lot of Dodger games on TV.  A lot of us in the East and Midwest aren’t familiar with his day-to-day work, but I can assure you that listening to him call a game is nothing less than an amazing experience.  The other beautiful part?  He works alone.  No color guy in the booth with him, you get to just hear Vin Scully and the sounds of baseball.  I am not a Dodger fan by any stretch of the imagination but if you haven’t taken the time to let Vin make you feel like you’re 8 years old and watching your first baseball game again you’re letting the best the game has to offer pass you by…

…I feel the need to jinx Albert Pujols by being the first one on this blog to discuss his potential to win the Triple Crown.  Pujols is a ridiculous hitter who really is the only person (other than A-Rod) who really has the tools to even think about this.  Before I get called a homer for the A-Rod thing, he has won a batting title and led the league in hitting and RBI’s…although in different seasons.  Pujols has similar abilities to A-Rod, without the added bonus of being a total freak show.  Will Pujols do it?  He will not.  But I do anticipate him making a serious run at it even into August and that sort of thing is always good for baseball…

What a heads up play

Manny is great.  Amazing hitter, comical outfielder, and fun to watch but he is about as stable as Gary Busy crossed with Danny Bonaduce.  This makes for great entertainment but not what you want to anchor your MLB organization.  When I heard that Manny tested positive for a “banned” substance (a women’s fertility drug – to jump start his natural testosterone after a steroid cycle), I realized I didn’t give a crap.

Big Mac and Slammin Sammy made us all love baseball again.  That lasted till Bond’s forehead grew faster than Kirstie Ally’s weight.  It wasn’t just HR hitters.  Next came Gagne and Pudge and Raffy AND Clemens.  For a billion dollar sport with smart guys running it, the MLB has sucked at dealing with roids and getting past it.  Arod was supposed to be the poster child for how to do it right.  Then it turns out he’s a flake and he did steroids.  What should Sellig have done? Taken a page from Seinfeld’s Festivus playbook.

They needed an “Airing of Grivences” to get honest with fans.  Instead we get the mitchell report.  Now its seems like weekly someone else’s name gets leaked or fails a drug test.  We now live in a baseball world of everyone is guilty till proven innocent.   BUT how do you prove someone didn’t do something when there is no evidence to suggest someone might be guilty in the first place.  Prime example is Ken Griffey.  As my man Timmy will attest, one of the best.  However, I guarantee some idiot radio guy or blogger will say, “well he just didn’t get caught” and this is what makes me say I don’t care.  I love baseball and cold beer in the best stadium on earth…Kaufman Stadium.  This will continue despite steroids and PEDs.  What would make it any better….

More Manny being Manny

1.  What does this mean for the game? Until this spring I was in the camp that said that steroids were only taken by guys like McGwire, Sosa, and Canseco.  Big, hulking guys who were power specialists.  Guys who hit for average, guys who were able to steal bases during their prime home run years, and guys who stayed healthy for 10 consecutive years were not a part of this conversation.  Then came A-Rod and now Manny.  I found myself wondering for the first time about guys like Albert Pujols and David Wright.  I wondered what a statement from them saying that they never took steroids would mean at this point.  There is no evidence that either one of them ever has, but at this point I don’t know how shocked I would be.  Would there even be any use in saying they didn’t use, considering that in the past year both Manny and A-Rod made public denials that they ever used?  Even my reaction after the shock of the Manny news set in was, “Of course he used, everyone in baseball has used…”  Bill Simmons talks about guys who have entered the “Tyson Zone”, where you would believe anything that was written about them simply because of how crazy they are.  I used to think that Manny was in the zone (and still do, for that matter), but now I realize that baseball’s steroid era is in it as well.  There is literally no one who could get great shock out of me at that point.  I have become totally jaded by the issue.

2.  What does this mean for Manny? I still believe he is the greatest right-handed hitter I’ve ever seen.  The problem is that I don’t know what that means anymore.  I wonder if anyone else does either.  With the way things are going (and the shortage of votes being thrown at Big Mac for the HOF) I can’t help but wonder if Manny will ever get in.  Hall of Fame voters, who are all totally out of their minds anyways, could go any direction on this.  In the short term, what does it mean for Manny in LA?  It was widely speculated that he would opt out after this year and test the free agent market again and hope for an improved economy in the winter to drive up his salary.  Is that even possible now?  Would any GM in the league be willing to pay him more than the $20 million he’s owed next season by the Dodgers?  How will he react if he enters next year with LA and they make no attempt to extend him at mid-season because of this…will we see another Boston-like quit-job like we did last summer?

3.  What does this mean for baseball fans who are under 30? I am 26.  The first World Series I have memories of is the Braves and Twins in 1991.  I was 9 years old, so my memories of it are fleeting.  If you accept, which I now do, that steroids has been a part of the game since the mid-to-late-80′s, then it is also conceivable that I may have never seen a fall classic without juiced participants.  Would you bet against Albert Belle, Roberto Alomar, Ron Gant, Mike Piazza, Troy Glaus, and Jeff Bagwell having used?  Throw in Bonds, Manny, and Giambi and now you can draw a line from that 1991 Series to the present day.  All of those players played in the World Series between 1991 and today and every World Series since ’91 can be represented there, and those are only hitters and only guys who have suspicion surrounding them.  It might be time for an entire generation of baseball fans to admit that everything we have ever seen has been tainted by steroids.

4.  Bill Plaschke is an idiot. I have not been a fan of his since his days on Around the Horn but yesterday’s performance on ESPN’s live coverage and today’s subsequent column have driven him to a new low.  On ESPN’s live coverage he alleges that MLB would have covered up for Manny if the drug suspense hadn’t been so erroneous.  In both the column and the ESPN coverage he says that the Dodgers should try to find some way to get Manny out of town.  He does credit the Dodgers for following his advice to give Manny a short term deal, even though he never wanted him there in the first place.  He also makes a weird comment in the ESPN coverage where he wonders about the existence of Manny’s Domincan cousin (obviously mocking the A-Rod situation).  I didn’t find him funny (because he isn’t) and I didn’t find him to be objective (because he wasn’t) and he certainly didn’t represent the feelings of the LA fans (who would kill to have Manny back)…so if his only purpose is to spout vast MLB conspiracies and suggest the insane idea that the Dodgers dump Manny because of this (which they legally cannot do) then he is serving no purpose at all, is he?

Obviously I have a lot of feelings about this situation…but oddly I don’t have a lot of anger at Manny.  I don’t have a lot of anger at most of these guys, except the ones that were caught and refuse to come clean.  It’s easy for us as fans to forget that these guys are playing for contracts, not only for themselves but oftentimes for their entire extended families as well.  It is only the most pure amongst us who wouldn’t bend the rules (when everyone else is seemingly doing it) for a Powerball-like payoff.  Hall of Famers like Mike Schmidt have admitted as much, saying that if steroids were offered to them they can’t say they wouldn’t have tried it.  The problem with the steroid era is that we have to admit that these amazing athletes that we deify are maybe mere mortals, physically and morally.

1. Detroit – Matthew Stafford and Brandon Pettigrew – Matt Millen has given me comfort for the past decade…when I think about HERM driving the chefs into the ground, i just say to myself “at least they aren’t as bad as a lions.”  Anyway, this team sucks (except for calvin johnson).  Since they were stuck with the most expensive pick in the weakest draft of past couple years, I can’t really knock the Stafford pick for these reasons… they needed o-line and QB…I like the QBs in next years draft (Bradford, McCoy, Snead, etc) BUT i’m not convinced they are any safer than Stafford.  So next year they’ll still have a high pick to get o-line (which they can plug in from day one) and they’ll have a 2nd year QB.    I don’t like the Pettigrew Pick but I guess its going to take time to get the Millen stink off that run away train.

2. St. Louis Rams – Jason Smith – Quality character, athletic left tackle. I like.  I think father death is knocking on the door of Marc Bulger.   (PS I hate that he spells his name with C and not a K… His parents must have hated him. For years he has had to correct EVERYONE’s spelling…I’m going to name my kid Zak or Jon).  So I’ll be excited to see them take a QB next April.

3. Kansas City Chiefs – Matt Cassel and Tyson Jackson – The chefs got Cassel and Vrabel for basically 4 packs of big league chew.  Cassel + Thigpen = Serviceable QB.  This coming year will prove if they found a franchise QB.  This teams defense is like swiss cheese.  Last season…. only the lions had a worse defense.  The entire Chiefs defense only recorded 10 sacks last year.  So picking defense DE and DT with the 1st and 3rd picks was the way to go.  The intergalacticallstar’s could have put up a 100 yard on last years turd sandwich.   I don’t mind skipping on Curry because I don’t know if he’d have the impact of Jackson who played in a 3-4 defense that the Chefs are changing to.

4. Seattle Stinkhawk – Aaron Curry – blah blah blah – BORING – grow a pair and take Crabtree (this is probably why I shouldn’t be a GM).  TJ Housyomama and Crabtree would be like Fitzgerald and Boldin.

5. NY football Jets – Mark Sanchez and Shonn Green – Filled a huge hole at QB and added depth at RB.   This team is pretty good to start, so I think they went all in to get what they wanted.  I see Sanchez going the way of Tony Romo – dating an actress, getting her pregnant, then moving on to a singer/actress which will haunt Jets fans for years to come.   Let the drama begin.

6. Cincinnati Bungels – Andre Smith – Holy cow this is a match made in heaven.  How can you take the worst character guy in the draft to team that historically has character issues?   And did you seem him at the draft!!!!! If he weighed 338 lbs at the draft then they must have measured it on the moon.  He looked like the Fridge when he participated in celebrity boxing against Manute Bol.  This like a watching a car accident in slow motion.

7. Raiders – Darius Heyward-Bey – Al Davis working from the grave.  Don’t get it at all.  They could have traded down and still gotten this guy 15 picks later and paid him about half the money.

10. 49ers – Michael Crabtree – Love this pick but unless he can throw it to himself, won’t make much difference this year.  If you can’t tell, I hope he ends up on the chefs in 4 years.

13. Redskins – Brian Orakpo – Ok I hate the redskins/Dan Schnieder but i love Orakpo (see his video). He is a man child and will tear up the NFC East especially with Haynesworth getting double teamed all the time.   I’d consider betting the over on redskins wins…currently at 8.

25. Dolphins – Vontae Davis and Pat White – Getting an underachieving/bad character CBs was exactly what the Fins needed.  Considering the career his brother has so far, this is bound to work out.  Plus, when Vontae isn’t on the field he gets to watch Pat White execute the wildcat to perfection.  Some call it a gimmick…I call it genius.  Parcells is my hero.

1.  Detroit Lions: Matt Stafford – First of all, IGAS is calling him Matt.  Not Matthew.  He is now an adult.  Provided he doesn’t kill a guy, I like him better than last year’s first rounder, Gosder Cherilus.  Also, I am 100% sure I can pronounce his name.  We’ve heard the story 1,000 times.  Hellfire cannon for an arm.   Has a little bit of a Nuke LaLoosh-like control issue.  I see him as a less entertaining version of Ryan Leaf.

2.  St. Louis Rams: Jason Smith – Apparently he’s a good kid with great talent.  LT is one of the most important positions to fill and the Rams just let go of one of the games truely great (if not over-aged) ones.  This kid has mammoth shoes to fill.  The only really early tackle I can remember being an out and out bust is Robert Gallery, and I’m betting that this guy isn’t that.  Great pick.    I just feel bad that this kid got in the league after the Pro Bowl meant a free trip to Hawaii.

3. Kansas City Chiefs: Tyson Jackson – Might want to bring Les Miles up from Baton Rouge to coach these boys.  I was puzzled that Baton Rouge North didn’t take Aaron Curry who was widely thought to be the most sure thing in the draft.  Either way, they had to go defense here (apparently) so they selected another D lineman after last years pick of Glenn Dorsey.  Personally I like the pick.  If you take Curry here and bring him to the fattest city in America he might plump up and be ineffective.  Jackson, on the other hand, is already a total bucket of lard.  He will be able to blend right in.

4.  Seattle Seahawks: Aaron Curry – The Seahawks take the safe bet and pick Curry here.  I don’t know why.  Crabtree fills an immediate need.  Sanchez would fill a need in Game 4 when Hasselbeck is flat on his butt.  Andre Smith could help keep Hasselbeck off his butt.  I liked B.J. Raji for them if they went defense because I think Tatupu and Peterson can hold down the LB core for now.  Normally that doesn’t mean much, but since the Seahawks and I have the same number of Super Bowl rings I feel inclined to weigh in.

5.  New York Jets: Mark Sanchez – I sort of like it when a team trades its entire draft to get a guy.  What it usually means is that he will be an expert in holistic medicine in about five years.  I do like Sanchez though, and if I had to roll the dice on him or Stafford I take Sanchez.  He’s got the right personality for New York and if he has the goods (and I think he just might) he will be pounding my Dolphins in the blowhole for years to come. A totally dissatisfying turn of events for me all the way around.

6.  Cincinnati Bengals: Andre Smith – This pick is one of my favorites.  Smith is so talented it’s scary.  If he hadn’t totally pulled a Stage 5 meltdown at the NFL Combine he might’ve gone number two to St. Louis.  Apparently he also showed up a bit heavy.  He was kicked off Alabama’s squad before their bowl game for…well, no one really knows.  All we really know here is that he is super talented and he has the penchant for being super dumb.  I can’t wait until he gets in that Bengal locker room and has a chance to really be influenced by all the straight A students they have in there.  I’m sure the results will be impressive.  Bring your snorkel Marvin Lewis.

7.  Oakland Raiders: Darrius Heyward-Bey – Holy Hell.  The most completely insane pick of all time.  Could Yatil Green not re-enter his name in the draft or something?  I’m sure Heyward-Bey will totally prove us all wrong and have a great career out there in Hell Oakland.  Or Al Davis will try to trade him to the University of Tennessee after mini-camp.  Or anything in between.  Also, this might be a nice time to point out that Al Davis is officially insane and has lost the last bit of sense he had.  Art Shell was bad.  Art Shell a second time was worse.  Taking Heyward-Bey when Crabtree and Maclin were on the board is unforgivable.  Not trading down to do it is perhaps the most horrifying idea ever had by any human being.

8.  Jacksonville Jaguars: Eugene Monroe – Finally Jacksonville brings some sense of normalcy back into the process by filling a need with a player who has a chance to A) stay out of prison, and B) actually succeed in the NFL.  I don’t know what else to say here, except at this point I was still in awe that Crabtree was still on the board.  I think many of Oakland’s fans were in this boat with me.  Whatever, I’m sure David Garrard and MGD will be happy to meet Eugene and maybe actually stay upright long enough to score some points this year.  Provided the Jags didn’t crap the bed here and take Ryan Leaf they were going to look smart after the display the Raiders had just put on.  Well played, Jacksonville.

9.  Green Bay Packers: B.J. Raji – Good pick for a team that needs someone to anchor the D-line.  I liked them staying away from Malcolm Jenkins here, a guy many people had them taking.  I also love the D-tackle position because if you happen to go to a city like Green Bay and eat a lot of bratwurst you can still end up being a productive member of the team.  I think Gilbert Brown invented this move.  Welcome to paradise, B.J. Raji.

10.  San Francisco 49ers: Michael Crabtree – Crabtree avoids a Brady Quinn-like scenario by exiting the draft room before a sympathy trade has to be made to accomodate him.  He is probably relieved until he finds out that Vinny Testaverde and Steve DeBerg are viable quarterbacking options for San Fran in 2009.  I love this pick by them because they have absolutely nothing in the way of receivers.  Too bad Jeff Garcia signed with the Oakland Heyward-Beys or this had a chance of being a decent team this season.

Other picks that interested me…

12.  Denver Broncos: Knowshown Moreno- I like it because it addresses absolutely nothing in the way of a need.  The Broncos seem to get great RB production no matter who is back there.  Their defense is horrifying though, and Brian Orakpo was still on the board.  Brilliant move by Josh McDaniels, who is turning out to be my favorite person ever associated with the New England Patriots.

25. Miami Dolphins: Vontae Davis – The only thing that I don’t like here is that apparently he’s an underachiever who comes from a family of morons (Vernon Davis’ younger brother).  That’s okay though, once guys make it to professional football and get paid huge dollars their motivation tends to increase and all of those family members tend to shy away.  My Dolphins did do one semi-noble thing here and pick a player that should improve a weak point of their team, so for that I am grateful.

27. Indianapolis Colts: Donald Brown – Somehow forgetting that Joseph Addai is only 26 and one year removed from a Pro Bowl season the Colts select a running back.  Bill Polian doesn’t usually miss with these picks (Manning, Wayne, Clark, Freeney) but I was stunned.  I thought the Colts might try to bolster their secondary or draft an on-site orthopedic surgeon to piece together Humpty Dumpty when he gets hurt in Week 2.  Again, I defer to Polian…but this kid better be VERY good.

So there you have it.  I was less than impressed with the drafting skills of the NFL teams for about the 20th year in a row, but I suppose there is something to be said for consistency.  I could have written for days about the Oakland pick and why Al Davis is a terrible man who might just get us all killed, but that’s for another time and day.  I will be interested to see how these guys look in about Week 4.  That is the truly amazing thing about the NFL draft; for now they all seem like talented athletes who have bright futures ahead of them.  Somehow, though, after only a few weeks of regular season games you can tell who might be able to catch on and who is totally going to be overmatched at the next level.  When I figure out how to see this pre-draft I will let you know from my beach house in Malibu.  Until that day I hope you keep reading (unless of course you’re a Raiders fan…in that case you should just give up on professional sports).